That’s right folks, it’s that time again! A crisp new comic from d20Monkey for you to start October off right! This one is full of dread and horror among…many other things, yes? Remember one caption per comment, leave as many as you like!
Winner will have their comical genius recognized both here, and at d20Monkey.com, gain 3 months of Ascendant time and an Obsidian Portal t-shirt! Contest will expire at midnight (CST) Oct 31st and drift back into the nether realm where it will see final judgement. Muahahaha!
Update: Just because October is my favorite month of the year, and because I really really like you guys. I’m also going to throw in a $10 gift certificate to DriveThruRPG to the winner!
This months winner is Adam with: “I’ve got the weirdest boner right now”.
Obsidian Portal is the award winning Online Campaign Management System for tabletop role-playing games. It’s free to use, it can be accessed from any web browser and it's built from the ground up for gamers by gamers.
We host a huge community of tabletop RPG players who are all looking to get the most out of their tabletop gaming experience. You play your campaign and we help you manage it. It’s that simple.
“You know what is even more rare than a purple unicorn?”
And that’s why you shouldn’t tell Thronk to leave his “mount” in the stables.
Red Beard “I know he’s following us, just keep walking. We don’t want him attaching himself to us, not like the last party.”
Big, Scary, fighter guy “hey, you guys want to play My Little Unicorn: Island Adventure?”
I told you we shouldn’t have brought WarDuke to carnival…
I told you we shouldn’t have brought WarDuke to the carnival…
I should really proofread.
“This is why I don’t invite Warhammer players to RPG night.”
Red beard : Remind me to never mess with the barbarian…
Helmet Guy : unless you want the horn…*shiver*
The end of, “don’t ask, don’t tell.”
Red Beard: It’s not the blood, the severed head or even that the head is placed precariously close to your crotch area. I just don’t see how that’s a two-person mount.
Huge guy: Maybe you just don’t want to see…
This wouldn’t have happened if the GM had let us purchase horses in the last town we stopped in.
Yeah, I know it looks stupid, but are YOU going to tell him that?
“You should see the guy who insulted his skulls.”
What were the people at WotC thinking? Purple Unicorn Stick Horse +3, my eye!
“I’ve got the weirdest boner right now.”
Never again will the GM permit his five-year old sister to step into the role of an NPC in his campaign…
“When that little girl screamed, ‘It’s so fluffy, I could die!’ I don’t think she expected Thok to take her so seriously.”
Dude, let’s get out of this line. Did you heard what the Impaler did to his pet unicorn when he thought the beast was too slow?
“Sure it’s weird but at least he quit wearing a dress!”
“Normally I don’t pass up the chance to get some XP, but this time I will make an exception. See ya!”
If there’s one thing my late father taught me well, it’s never do battle with a warrior that uses a unicorn for a codpiece!
You let a Chaos warrior have access to multiple Powers, something like this was bound to happen….
I _know_ it is creepy, but can you think of a safer place to keep the alicorn until we get back to town?
“Dude, it’s Hell. Where did you THINK the purple unicorn would wind up?”
“Uh.. hey there big guy… I see you found your… pony…” (in smaller whispery font) “I thought you said we lost him!”
guy on left “He’s YOUR cousin”
“This whole ‘brony’ thing is really starting to get out of hand…”
“How many times have I told you, leave the body behind!”
“But you promised! And unicorns are awesome mounts!”
“I said when we get back to town! BACK. TO. TOWN!”
“Don’t let the blood, scary helmet or big sword fool you. Even with the Pink Unicorn Head to call attention to his codpiece and make it look bigger, he still stuffs it. Classic overcompensation!”
In the Chaos Wastes, My Little Pony lovers have to get creative to indulge their hobby.
“I hope he’s not looking for a replacement for that unicorn head.”
“I guess this is the exception to the rule that Anti-Paladins cannot have unicorns for mounts”
Man, GWAR was so much better before they sold out to Toys R Us.
“Gives new meaning to riding your horse into the ground…”
“Dude, Why does Sally always have to play the barbarian?”
Barbarian: “Hey ladies, need a ride back to camp?”
Redbeard: “Don’t make eye-contact…”
Redbeard: Is it wrong that I want to ride that?
Ginger-bearded painter: “Make it more imposing; make our city sentinel statue strike fear into all that behold it.” they said. Well, that’s the best we can do, mate, with a can of red paint.
Redbeard: “…That’s just… Wrong…, Just keep walking…”
Don’t look now, but we have that Cavalier on Uni following us again…
Is that a unicorn between his legs or is he just happy to see us?
“Well, I wasn’t sure either, but when I asked, he said something like, ‘I wear it for my own protection and it’s ribbed for my opponent’s pleasure.” When he started later discussing how it really prolongs the agony and saves him from ‘having to think about baseball,’ I just walked away…”
haha, good
I feel sorry for his wife!
“Is it just me, or does he seem a little too eager to ride?”
“He camped that spawn point for three months, and for what?”
Is that a unicorn between your legs or are you just pleased to see us!
When we turn around, act like it isn’t there. Someone said something about it; that’s how this whole mess started.
Don’t tell the WarDuke that riding a unicorn wont help him get his virginity back.
Redbeard: “Ok… These collectable mounts are really getting out of hand”
It’s creepy the way that one eye seems to follow you.
I mean, you have to respect someone who plays the LG paladin of Gumberry Castle who turns Blackguard because of his unrequited love of the Queen, only to end up razing the keep to the ground in an angst-filled montage of love-hate, and even kills his paladin mount for the frosting on top of role playing XP.
“Shh, he’s been sensitive ever since he multiclassed Barbarian and Paladin.”
“…But, did you see his ‘Special Mount?!’”
I thought when he said “let’s play Horsie” he meant something entirely different…
“He must shop from one of those ‘third party’ equipment supplements.”
Unfortunately what happens in Bloodvale doesn’t always stay in bloodvale.
“You know what really had me making a fear check? For a second, I thought he wasn’t using any hands.”
Is it just me or have the Chippendale’s dancers gotten really dark lately?
I knew playing leapfrog with a unicorn would end badly, but that’s not what I had in mind.
Yeah, I think he’s taken “getting in touch with his inner child” a little to far.
red beard: “on the plus side, we’re probably off the hook for thank-you cards to the townsfolk”
Man, talk about minmaxing!
“I hate when little girls play dark lords.”
Redbeard: i hear the unicorn staff does damage in the d20s!
Grunt: you don’t want to test it do you?!?!
Redbeard: I’d rather live..
Don’t correct him. I never want to know what results from the mating of a jackass and unicorn.
“Don’t look now but He’s still behind us.”
“Damn.”
Vlad Tepps the impaler*
*impaling: raming a long sharp object up through the anus or genitals
Apparently Throk is not a fan of Mayonaise…
Beard: “Gives a whole new meaning to ‘riding the pink pony,’ huh?”
“I dunno, Marik. He seems too sweet to have set the town ablaze.”
OR
“Do you think if we pet pet it he’ll let us keep our buttginity?”
OR
“What I *really* want to know is: How is he going to manage his mounted combat feats with that two-handed monstrosity on his back?”
“Our GM has a really twisted idea of what Bobby and Uni look like 26 years later….”
“Alright, you made your point! The +1 higher ground bonus did help out back there.”
“What did you think would happen when you asked the dark lord to play My Little Unicorn?”
“I told you my little sister was evil”
“Trust me, you don’t have to worry about the great sword. Its the Pink Unicorn Stick that will f*** you up.”
Told you he would do it……
Wow! That totally shatters my preconception of our new ruler when I heard he weilded a +5 Rod of the Unicorn.
“I don’t care what magical properties it gives you or how popular they get. I will not ride a ‘My Pink Unicorn’. Ever…
“yea, that’s terrible. All I am saying is, what he did to those Doc Martins is worse”
“Man, thats nothing. You should see what he did to the care bears.” -shudders-
Mike Tyson found a replacement for his tiger during the filming of The Hangover 3: Oblivion
“I don’t care if the Ring of Wishing WAS his. I’m still not going into the dungeon with him.”
Whaddya mean, this isn’t a random encounter? I’ve got it all covered!
big guy, ” OO OO, my turn to ride the unicorn!”
red beard, “I’m really glad you had that in your bag of holding. Now let’s leave quietly, and maybe he won’t notice we are gone.”
That’s the weirdest ED treatment ever.
You should see his car.
Beard: “Lending him my Se7en DVD was a mistake.”
The new head the Witch King of Angmar chose for his Fell Beast was decidedly creepier than its old one.
I’ve heard tales of the dreaded Pogo Unicorn Knight…..terrible tales….some not so bad….but mostly terrible. Lets leave before he greases up the pole
“Listen Dude, Leave the fair maidens alone or this pic is going up on ObsidianPortal and d20Monkey.”
No, I’m still not letting you play a pixie!
OK, that’s the Fire Marshall, be cool.
I know that Thork the Untamable is scary, but look at the guy riding him!
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“Well, now we know why he is called the ‘Lone’ Ranger”
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