Pies of the world

Alright folks! As promised, here are all entries in our Mini Contest: Stat a Pecan Pie, Win a Pecan Pie. Being the arbitrary and judgmental S.O.B that I am, I’ve ranked these from tenth place all the way to first.

RANK: 10th place

Submitted by: Grim

Original Entry:


F: Shift 0 (0)

A: Shift 0 (0)

S: Shift 0 (0)

E: Feeble (2)

R: Shift 0 (0)

I: Shift 0 (0)

P: Shift 0 (0)

He: 2

Karma: 0

Popularity: 90


Yummy: +1 Column Shift on Popularity FEATS.


Deliciousness (Incredible 40): Pecan Pies may make a power FEAT roll in order to entice nearby PCs and NPCs into eating it. Green results in them moving one area towards the pie, yellow means two areas, red means three areas. If a PC or NPC already occupies the same area as the pie, then they eat it.

Nutty Armour (Feeble 2): Pecan pies can be nutty, offering some protection against being eaten.

Dan’s Thoughts: I ranked this one tenth place for two reasons.

  1. It was a ‘non-entry’ entry put on the blog instead of in an email to me. Grim wasn’t interested in winning the delicious pie, but he was interested in sharing his stat block.
  2. I have no idea what system this stat block is for. That’s right, my ignorance is a reason why this is in tenth place.

 RANK: 9th place

 Submitted by: John Callingo

 Original Entry:

A pie with a warm golden-yellow crust and stuffed with a dark brown filling consisting mostly of pecans, this pie is a rare delicasy in most places.

A pecan pie consists of 6 slices, each slice rendering the consumer dazed for 1d4+1 rounds as a result of it’s deliciousness. Creatures which lack a taste sense (lack a tongue, or do not eat) are not effected by this as they can not consume the pie.

A pecan pie can be created with a profession: cooking check of DC 21.

Price: 5GP

Dan’s Thoughts: This was a pretty good entry, but spelling and grammar count. Also, there’s no mention of what system this is for. It’s clearly a D&D system, but which D&D system?

RANK: 8th place

Submitted by: Mark Lewis

Original Entry:

 Poison                   Type                  Initial Damage          Secondary Damage      Price

Pecan Pie Filling        Ingested DC 13      Haste for 10 minutes      Fatigue for 1d4 hours         50 gp

Pecan Pie Filling: This poison is a careful combination of specially prepared nuts from the Carya illinoenensis and large amounts of sugars and syrups.  While a full dose can be hidden in someone’s meal with a DC 12 Sleight of Hand check, the preferred delivery method involves disguising the filling with a delicious, flaky pie crust, which provides a +4 bonus to this Sleight of Hand check.

Characters from the southeastern region of Yu’ess take a -2 penalty on fortitude saves to resist the primary and secondary damage of Pecan Pie Filling.

Dan’s Thoughts: Having spent close to a decade in the southern Yu’ess, I can attest that yes, there is a -2 penalty on fort saves to resist Pecan Pies.

RANK: 7th place

Submitted by: Chuck Benscoter

Original Entry:

D&D 0 Edition

Monster Type: Pastry

Monster Name: Pecan Pie

Number Appearing: 1-2

Armor Class: 10

Move in Inches: —-

Hit Dice:special – 6 hit points per piece or 48 per pie. There are never more that 8 slices in a pie.  Some rare species come is 6 or even 4 slice sub-types.  Adjust the hit dice and attacks accordingly.

% in Lair: 50% Holy Alter of the Fridge / 50% Serving Tray of Temptation.

Treasure Type:  P (1% chance of random magic ring)

Note:The Pecan Pie is a crafty and skilled opponent.  A pie has two possible attacks.

The first is the Temptation of the Sweet which can cause a character to move at maximum speed toward a pie and then defend it with his or her very life, even to the point of sacrificing all treasure and magic items to keep the pie safe.  Once the pie is safe the character then eats 1 or more pieces which then triggers a second attack.

The second attack is more insidious.  It is a slow acting curse that causes the character to out-grow all of their amour and wearable magic items and loose up to 5 points of dexterity. This will happen in 6 months, minus one month for each extra piece eaten. 

If the pie is shared, which almost never happens, the second attack causes each additional eater to blame the character for sharing.  The character will then be required to pay for all alterations to magic garments and equipment so that they can continue to be worn.

A unique sub-type exists that has a halo of Whipped Cream.   This terrible beast has caused whole parties to go on quests from which they have never returned. 

Dan’s Thoughts: I love the part about the unique sub-type with the halo of Whipped Cream. What delicious fate befell those who dared to quest for such a confection? Only the winds know. Only the winds.

RANK: 6th place

Submitted by: Arlene Medder

Original Entry:

Pecan Pie (D&D 3.5): Consumable, 8 doses (or 4, if those 4 are greedy

pigs), acts as Haste Spell for 3 rounds, or until the sugar buzz wears

off. If eaten hot, with vanilla ice cream it lasts for 3 minutes.

Dan’s Thoughts: I really like vanilla ice cream.

RANK: 5th place

Submitted by: Matt James

Original Entry:

Dan’s Thoughts: Matt’s submission is good. Very good. But is it slap yo’ momma good? Let us ponder this as we look at 4th place.

RANK: 4th place

Submitted by: Joel Hoffman

Original Entry:

The pie golem is the delicious and deadly creation of the Mad Baker, an anonymous pastry chef who went insane and began toying with dark magic in order to improve the flavour of his traditional pecan pie. The magic had an unfortunate side effect; it animated the pies, which formed what is now known as the pie golem.

It is said that the Mad Baker created other dessert-based monstrosities, once he realized his success with pecans. There are rumours of the existence of the Mousse Swarm, and the highly explosive Boston Cream Giant.

Dan’s Thoughts: Look at that stat block, that Pie Golem is not joking around, that is a seriously warped confectionary. And look! Backstory! I LOVE BACKSTORY! There’s a Mad Baker, mousse-y swarms, and cream filed IEDs. This is the kind of delicious atrocity that a party of PCs can really sink their teeth into.

RANK: 3rd place

Submitted by:  Anthony Rauseo

Original Entry:

Professor Paddington’s Perfectly Preserved Pecan Pie! (Patent Pending).

Prof. Paddington’s pies appear and taste like any other pie save for a small smokey after taste. The secret of the preservation process that keeps the pies fresh no mater were they are transported is the Ghostrock used during the baking process.

Anyone who eats even a portion of the pie must make a Spirit roll to avoid addiction to the confection. Each time the check is failed the victim feels compelled to seek out another pie. The difficulty increases with each check by a factor of two. (-2 for the second pie, -4 for the third, etc).

The pies themselves can be found throughout the weird west in general stores and at trading posts and retail for around five dollars.

Dan’s Thoughts: A little alliteration alleviates life’s ails. Also: Deadlands. I love Deadlands. If you haven’t played it, you don’t know what you’re missing. This was our randomly chosen winner, by the way.

RANK: 2nd place

Submitted by:  Paul

Original Entry: Click here to see Paul’s entry.

Dan’s Thoughts: The only entry to link to an Obsidian Portal campaign, it was nice to see that his work made it into his game world.

RANK: 1st place

Submitted by:  Daniel Oquendo

Original Entry: Download the pdf

Dan’s Thoughts: Pages of stats, notes, and a system still under playtest. What more could you possibly ask for?

So there you have it people, let’s hear it one more time for the 10 fantastic entries to our last pie contest! Yay them!

Award Winning!

Gold ENnie for Best Website 09'-11'

Silver ENnie for Best Website, Best Podcast 2012-2013
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