d20Monkey Caption Contest for February

Frank’s worried that his Party Werewolf Paragon Template may not carry over. He’s says if there’s more of us, that we can’t be ignored.

Yeah, well me and Lennie are gonna hit up that new tavern in Moonwood, he keeps tellin’ me it’ll be just a “few quiet ales”, but I dunno, I got a sneaky feeling he’s up for a party. You in?

Yeah, right. Sure the “Big Bad Wolf” is right behind me….there’s no way I’m turnin’ around…that’ll just get me a masterwork wedgie…

I know you told me to never wake a sleepwalker…

I told the GM “surfer werewolf” was a terrible concept, but he just wouldn’t listen.

Oh heh, this is my kid brother’s friend, Mike. Just showin’ him around the boring snow plains for a bit. He’s ok, but I sure wish he’d stop saying “WAASSSSUUUUPP!!!” every time I turn around….startin’ to get on my nerves

“THIS is the clown you ordered for the party?”
“We were on a budget, man. Blind Surfer Rectal Exam Werewolf saved us enough to buy a bigger cake.”

It took me an hour to get those on him.

What is that!? Eric decided that White Wolf was too… white.

I feel sorry for that wolf. It must’ve been bitten by a weredouchebag.

“dude. He’s a Great surfer”

Apparently its a new breed called the “teen wolf”. They just play basketball and party. He’s still not as bad as that sparkly vampire guy.

Wow. His Deity must REALLY like him.

“He said the guy that bit him was THAT big.”

This was not what I meant when I said I’d go on a blind date…

Wolfman’s got nards!

You think this guys bad? I’d take him anyday over the guy from last October…

Look’s like Bob’s time of the month is out of whack again…

“We turned down jobs as backup dancers for Lady Gaga for THIS?”

“Next time you sing ‘Gimme a man after midnight,’ you might want to be more specific.”

” I play a LOT of ADnD. I know how to handle this.”
“Dude…you left your dice at home.”
“Crap.”

This old guy reckons he’s famous, off some TV game show about Gladiators or something. I told him the Selune Foreign Legion wont hold it against him.

“I think it’s mainly a bid on Wallace’s part to distance himself from his cousins who were in those awful Twilight films…”

“What’s that dude’s problem?”
“Who knows. Maybe it’s that time of the month…”

‘If THAT’S the promotion, this “army of the crescent moon” gig has been so oversold…’

I am just about done with this Twilight bullshit.

Duuuuuuuuude!

Guy on the Right: When i said i wanted to take a moonlit walk on the beech, I didn’t mean with HIM.
Guy on the Light (Barbarian): Don’t insult my werewolf brethren.
Werewolf: Come on guys, quit arguing & lets PARTY!!!

You think your wife is a beast once a month? Look what I have to deal with…

Party wolf is in the house and the guards are worried about catching arrows in the knee

Wolf: Alright, who wants to roleplay!?

guy pointing: uh…

“I think Wolfric has taken this ‘party animal’ thing a little too far.”

“That’s the last time we let him Drink and DM.”

I don’t think George is appreciating the seriousness of his condition. Lycanthropy is a disease, not a party… he’s going to eat us isn’t he?

“I thought he was kidding when he said he was a “Bro-canthrope”.

Does he really expect us to play Hide & Seek with him?

Look, we’re kind of in a bind, and did you notice he can use the same equipment the Yazarian had before?

I have to play Marco Polo with that guy?

“Ed, mate! I told you Bella could be a real bitch at certain times of the month”

I told you crowdsourcing 5th Edition was a bad idea…

Sir are you sure that was Wolfsbane we dosed him with? Because…well…look at him…

“Okay I know you told me that Twilight was popular and all but really, you seriously think this cardboard cutout with ugly shorts is gonna get us the ladies?”

“Dude thats not a cardboard cut out… and he looks a little offended about the shorts comment”

We can’t go to Dragon Con with him. He is gonna make our costumes look totally lame.

I think I liked him better before he put on the Jamz of Opposite Alignment, when he just tried to kill us.

Wolfman “where all the Worgen Bitchez at?”

Tabard guy “Sorry, he’s been watching a lot of Stormwind Shore lately…”

“This dude totally needs a Snickers.”

“He says he’s here for your wife.”

“When we were selected to join the Night Beach Cleaners instead of the Sewer Scrubbers I thought we were getting a lucky break. I don’t know who keeps biting the sunbathers, but if we have to tell one more dude that he’s become lycanthropic, I’m going to transfer. At least the Sewer Scrubbers get weapons.”

“So, are you going to tell him or what?”

You should tell him that that nobody says whaaassssuuuuuuppppp!!! anymore?

Ted Nugent’s roadies confer before the gig.

“It’s great that Invisa-Line Dental Floss ™ is trying to update their mascot, but I think their dial got stuck on 1987 “Era of the Ninja Turtle”.

What do you mean it’s Happy Horny Werewolf night tonight, and I’m on wandering monster patrol?

“So there I was, tied up to the bed, and in she comes with a whip and wearing nothin’ but a chainmail bikini…”
“Do you believe this crap? Next he’s going to say that those boxers aren’t his!”

Human: “He wants us to call him Sir Licks-a-lot.”
Wolf: “I like… big… butts and I cannot Bluff. You other brothers can’t rebuff…”

Human: “He’s going up against Dracula in the next Epic Rap Battle.”

Human: “Just make something up. If he already knew who let the dogs out, he wouldn’t keep asking.”

Human: “What a horrible night to have a curse.”

What smells like wet dog?

Ya… I thought joining this Lycanthrope cult would be awesome too… So far its just us and that guy…

He’s a “Sleep Were.”

“He says werewolves are too cool too need a ‘C”.”

“Something tells me the last chick he was with was a real dog”

Step 1: Kill all the humans we find.
Step 2: Steal their stuff.
Step 3: Learn their secret hand gesture spellcasting techniques (pictured here is a demonstration of the Ruin Photography Curse: Bunny Ears)
Step 4: Profit!

Greg hasent been the same sence he became a warpwolf.

C+C Music Factory- Back together, Fantasy stylin’

You said “tall, dark, and handsome”.

He said he’d played tons of role-playing games but it just occured to me that he meant World of Warcraft and Skyrim!

“Gulp. Turns out he can see the moon through those shades ….”

The loot’s not worth it, dude. I hear these Werebros lose their trunks when bloodied.

Ok didn’t know it deleted previous post if you post again. So both together …

“He said he had played tons of role-playing games but it just occured to me that maybe he meant Skyrim and World of Warcraft.”

“Gulp. Turns out he can see the moon through those shades ….”

I warned you not to ask about his Valentine’s gift.

“Ever since the moon turned all ablong and lumpy we’ve been getting a lot of these ‘were-bros’ “

“If he thinks I’m going to wear a ‘Team Situation’ tunic, he’s howling up the wrong tree.”

I told you he sleep walks…

… so that’s what the fingers are for. You’ll REALLY embarrass me if I have to explain to you what the tongue’s for, you have been with at least one woman before right? (while thinking – Yeah right, look at that beard)

C’mon Craig, we’ve been hanging out looking cool for hours and not one chick has checked us out let alone said hello. He says if we let him bite us he’ll take us out and introduce us to some really cool bitches.

“Let’s get him to sign it anyway. I figure there’ only a 50/50 chance that he’s Jason Bateman.”

I’ll do his chest and back but you have to do his bikini.

Spuds Mackenzie over there is looking to group.

I used to be an adventurer like him, but then I took a silver arrow to my bling.

“Amulet of lycanthropy? +1 shorts of Awesome? Snow Goggles of Future Seeing? Only 2000 gold? You know what I think this time I’ll pass…”

I know they said D&D Next should be cater to everyone’s tastes, but seriously?!?!