Category Archives: Discussion
Ok so I might have missed one or two or six(!!!) of the entries in my last post. These are all good, and I’m going to give each one of them 1st place in their own competitions.
Rank: 1st place
Category: Swim Suit Competition
Submitted by: Owen “Dan keeps screwin’ me over” Stephens
Bake Pecan Pie
Time: 50-60 minutes until center is set
Duration: Until eaten, or 2-6 days
Strain 1 (2 if you have to wait to eat it)
Description: This ritual create a pecan pie, and requires basic cooking equipment and an oven preheated to 415 F. You must bake pie shell 5-6 minutes, or until crust begins to brown around the edges. Reduce oven heat to 270 F. In top of a double boiler, melt 7T butter. Remove from heat and whisk in ¾ cu brown sugar and ¼ cu sugar, and 1/4t salt. Stir until mixture is smooth. One at a time, add in 3 beaten eggs. Stir in ½ cu light corn syrup. Stir in ¼ cu dark corn syrup. Stir in 1 ¼ t vanilla. To make sure its perfectly smooth, strain the pecan pie mixture. Return mixture to heat. Cook, stirring constantly until mixture is hot and shiny. Remove from heat. Stir in2 ¼ cu chopped pecans (already toasted and cooled). Pour pecan mixture into warm piecrust.
After the ritual is complete, you must transfer the pie to a wire rack and let cool completely, at least 4 hours.
Pecan Pie for Witch Hunter: The Invisible World
Rank: 1st place
Category: World Peace
Submitted by: Owen “Seriously, this one time Dan spelled my name Owne” Stephens
Edge: Have Pecan Pie: 1 pt.
Pecan Pie for Savage Worlds
Rank: 1st place
Category: Biggest Pumpkin at the Fair
Submitted by: Owen “Dan missed four of my entries” Stephens
A sweet, almost nutty smell wafts from this dark ochre disk.
Pecan Pie CR 1/64
N Tiny bakery good
Init -5; Senses toothsense
AC 7, touch 7, flat-footed 7 (-5 Dex, +2 size)
hp 1 (1d2 -5, minimum 1)
Fort +2, Ref -5, Will -5
Immune cold (ice cream only)
Vulnerabilities holidays, teeth
Speed 0 ft.
Melee 1 burn (1d2-4 heat damage, +3 within 15 minutes of being removed from oven)
Space 0 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 4th)
At will—charm person (orcs only)
Str 0, Dex 0, Con 10, Int 0, Wis 0, Cha 18
Base Atk +0; CMB -5; CMD 0
Feats Flaky, Greater Fattening, Tasty
Skills Smell Good +5, Use magic Device +4
Environment loving hearths and kitchens, restaurants
Organization solitary or by the slice
Treasure x2 confection
Though short on tactics, pecan pies have defeated hordes of New Years’ eve resolutions and diet plans. They are often kept as treasure by orcs.
Pecan Pie for Pathfinder RPG
Rank: 1st place
Category: 4th Grade Science Fair
Submitted by: Owen “Why would Dan do that?” Stephens
Pecan Pie: 1 pt.
Life Support vs. Hunger (5 pts). (Obvious Accessible Focus -1)(1 charge -2)(Gestures: eat the pie -1/2)(Activation Roll 14 or less: might still be hungry -1/2)
Pecan Pie for Champions
Rank: 1st place
Category: Best in Show
Submitted by: David “Dan forgot me too” Kammerzelt
Pecantolor Level 34 Solo Controller
Gargantuan natural animate (Southern) XP 195,000
Initiative +18 Senses Perception +28, blindsight 50
Irresistable Aroma aura 15; an enemy that starts its turn in the aura is pulled 6 squares
HP 1,350*; Bloodied 675
AC 54; Fortitude 48, Reflex 37, Will 46
Saving Throws +4
Action Points 2
(Basic Attack) Molten Sugar-Butter Pseudopod Lash + Fire (standard, at-will)
Reach 7: +41 vs AC; 3d8+10 damage +10 fire
Sugar Rush (minor, at-will)
Close blast 5; +37 vs. Fortitude; 2d8 +10 damage and ongoing 15 damage (save ends). Until the target saves, all its movement speeds are increased by 1 and it may take one extra minor action per round.
Sugar Crash (minor, at-will)
Close blast 5; +37 vs. Reflex; 2d12 damage. The target is slowed (save ends). If the target is under the effect of the Sugar Rush, all other Sugar Rush effects end and the target is stunned as well as slowed (save ends both). Aftereffect: the target is dazed for one round.
Diabolical Diabeetus (standard, recharge 6)
Close blast 10; +37 vs. Fortitude; 4d10+6 damage, and the target gains vulnerability 10 to all of Pecantolor’s attacks (save ends).
Invoke Nut Allergy (free, 1/round when an enemy outside of 10 squares attacks Pecantolor)
Ranged 50; +37 vs. Fortitude; targets the triggering creature; the target is marked (save ends)
Anaphylactic Shock (free, 1/round when a marked creature attacks Pecantolor)
Ranged 50; +37 vs. Fortitude; targets the triggering creature; the target is paralyzed and takes ongoing 20 damage (save ends both).
Overflow the Crust + Fire (standard; recharge 5-6)
Close burst 10; 3d8+10 damage + 10 fire
Overwhelming Guilt At Failing One’s Diet (free, when an enemy within 10 squares attacks Pecantolor, at-will)
Ranged 10; targets the triggering creature; +39 vs Will; the target is slowed and takes a -2 penalty on all attacks (save ends both).
Alignment Evil Languages Southern
Skills Diplomacy +36, Religion +24, Insight +28, History +27, Endurance +36
Str 41 (+32) Dex 2 (+18) Wis 22 (+23)
Con 39 (+31) Int 24 (+24) Cha 36 (+30)
Rank: 1st place
Category: Best Technical Direction
Submitted by: Robbie “Let’s hope Dan doesn’t forget me again” Ann Cunningham
Low Life Pecan Pie Stats
Name:Priester’s Pecan Power-Pusher
Description: A cremefillian punk, this HUGE round pecan pie has a lightly toasted crust and is filled with large meaty pecans. Priester’s Pecan Power-Pusher also has the special ability to use the natural nutty syrupy goodness of its filling as ammunition.
Agility: d8 Fighting: d10
Smarts: d4 Guts: d6
Spirit: d6 Intimidation: d8
Strength: d10 Notice: d6
Vigor: d8 Shooting: d8
Pace: 6” Throwing: d4
Parry: 6 +1 (armor)
Foul Taste: The toxins and pollutants absorbed by the spongy flesh of cremefillians makes them particularly unpalatable. A creature that bites a cremefillian must make a Vigor roll to avoid being Shaken. A penalty equal to the number of wounds inflicted by the bite is applied to this roll.
Tweenking: For some reason, perhaps due to their strange body structure, cremefillians are able to carry a great deal more gear and supplies than their strength would suggest. They can carry an additional three times their strength in yorts without penalty. Additionally tweenks ignore minimum strength requirements for all hand weapons.
Spongy Flesh: Cremefillians have 1 point of natural armor due to their spongy or dense, crusty flesh. This feature also makes them immune to all natural poisons, toxins, and radioactive emissions.
Really Big Guy: Due to your large size, you begin play with a d6 Strength instead of a d4. On the downside, creatures smaller than you gain +2 to attack rolls against you. You are considered to be Large.
Pimp Slap: You are a bully who likes to pick on people smaller than you. You gain a +2 bonus to fighting Medium creatures (this effectively negates the -2 penalty for attacking them). You also get +1 attack bonus when fighting females, even if you are a female. I’m telling your mother.
Illiterate: You cannot read or write.
Innumerate: You have absolutely no concept of numbers. You can’t count or do math of any kind. Your brain just isn’t wired that way. Sorry…
Randy: Your character is randy. That is to say, his belt is buckled a little looser than the rest. Whatever the case, you have a hard time keeping yourself from making inapropriate or even vulgar comments about women whenever the opportunity presents itself (e.g. a woman with the (Very) Attractive Edge is sitting across the bar, or a scantily dressed prostitute is asking him if you want a good time). It is almost impossible for you not to make annoying comments and vulgar gestures.
ITEMS AND WEAPONS
Caterpillar poo rope: Can be used for climbing, tying things together, lassoing your enemies, hanging bad guys, tripping people, and a whole host of other fun and exciting activities.
Poo Flinger: (Strength +1), 1d8 (non-lethal), multiple uses (melee & missile), Range 6/12/24. Basically just a big ass wooden spoon, this thing can hurl poo and other foulness (the stench and ickyness incapacitates targets) (or in your case nutty syrupy filling (1d8+1) for the same incapacitating effect) and can double as a weak club.
Alright folks! As promised, here are all entries in our Mini Contest: Stat a Pecan Pie, Win a Pecan Pie. Being the arbitrary and judgmental S.O.B that I am, I’ve ranked these from tenth place all the way to first.
RANK: 10th place
Submitted by: Grim
F: Shift 0 (0)
A: Shift 0 (0)
S: Shift 0 (0)
E: Feeble (2)
R: Shift 0 (0)
I: Shift 0 (0)
P: Shift 0 (0)
Yummy: +1 Column Shift on Popularity FEATS.
Deliciousness (Incredible 40): Pecan Pies may make a power FEAT roll in order to entice nearby PCs and NPCs into eating it. Green results in them moving one area towards the pie, yellow means two areas, red means three areas. If a PC or NPC already occupies the same area as the pie, then they eat it.
Nutty Armour (Feeble 2): Pecan pies can be nutty, offering some protection against being eaten.
Dan’s Thoughts: I ranked this one tenth place for two reasons.
- It was a ‘non-entry’ entry put on the blog instead of in an email to me. Grim wasn’t interested in winning the delicious pie, but he was interested in sharing his stat block.
- I have no idea what system this stat block is for. That’s right, my ignorance is a reason why this is in tenth place.
RANK: 9th place
Submitted by: John Callingo
A pie with a warm golden-yellow crust and stuffed with a dark brown filling consisting mostly of pecans, this pie is a rare delicasy in most places.
A pecan pie consists of 6 slices, each slice rendering the consumer dazed for 1d4+1 rounds as a result of it’s deliciousness. Creatures which lack a taste sense (lack a tongue, or do not eat) are not effected by this as they can not consume the pie.
A pecan pie can be created with a profession: cooking check of DC 21.
Dan’s Thoughts: This was a pretty good entry, but spelling and grammar count. Also, there’s no mention of what system this is for. It’s clearly a D&D system, but which D&D system?
RANK: 8th place
Submitted by: Mark Lewis
Poison Type Initial Damage Secondary Damage Price
Pecan Pie Filling Ingested DC 13 Haste for 10 minutes Fatigue for 1d4 hours 50 gp
Pecan Pie Filling: This poison is a careful combination of specially prepared nuts from the Carya illinoenensis and large amounts of sugars and syrups. While a full dose can be hidden in someone’s meal with a DC 12 Sleight of Hand check, the preferred delivery method involves disguising the filling with a delicious, flaky pie crust, which provides a +4 bonus to this Sleight of Hand check.
Characters from the southeastern region of Yu’ess take a -2 penalty on fortitude saves to resist the primary and secondary damage of Pecan Pie Filling.
Dan’s Thoughts: Having spent close to a decade in the southern Yu’ess, I can attest that yes, there is a -2 penalty on fort saves to resist Pecan Pies.
RANK: 7th place
Submitted by: Chuck Benscoter
D&D 0 Edition
Monster Type: Pastry
Monster Name: Pecan Pie
Number Appearing: 1-2
Armor Class: 10
Move in Inches: —-
Hit Dice:special – 6 hit points per piece or 48 per pie. There are never more that 8 slices in a pie. Some rare species come is 6 or even 4 slice sub-types. Adjust the hit dice and attacks accordingly.
% in Lair: 50% Holy Alter of the Fridge / 50% Serving Tray of Temptation.
Treasure Type: P (1% chance of random magic ring)
Note:The Pecan Pie is a crafty and skilled opponent. A pie has two possible attacks.
The first is the Temptation of the Sweet which can cause a character to move at maximum speed toward a pie and then defend it with his or her very life, even to the point of sacrificing all treasure and magic items to keep the pie safe. Once the pie is safe the character then eats 1 or more pieces which then triggers a second attack.
The second attack is more insidious. It is a slow acting curse that causes the character to out-grow all of their amour and wearable magic items and loose up to 5 points of dexterity. This will happen in 6 months, minus one month for each extra piece eaten.
If the pie is shared, which almost never happens, the second attack causes each additional eater to blame the character for sharing. The character will then be required to pay for all alterations to magic garments and equipment so that they can continue to be worn.
A unique sub-type exists that has a halo of Whipped Cream. This terrible beast has caused whole parties to go on quests from which they have never returned.
Dan’s Thoughts: I love the part about the unique sub-type with the halo of Whipped Cream. What delicious fate befell those who dared to quest for such a confection? Only the winds know. Only the winds.
RANK: 6th place
Submitted by: Arlene Medder
Pecan Pie (D&D 3.5): Consumable, 8 doses (or 4, if those 4 are greedy
pigs), acts as Haste Spell for 3 rounds, or until the sugar buzz wears
off. If eaten hot, with vanilla ice cream it lasts for 3 minutes.
Dan’s Thoughts: I really like vanilla ice cream.
RANK: 5th place
Submitted by: Matt James
Dan’s Thoughts: Matt’s submission is good. Very good. But is it slap yo’ momma good? Let us ponder this as we look at 4th place.
RANK: 4th place
Submitted by: Joel Hoffman
The pie golem is the delicious and deadly creation of the Mad Baker, an anonymous pastry chef who went insane and began toying with dark magic in order to improve the flavour of his traditional pecan pie. The magic had an unfortunate side effect; it animated the pies, which formed what is now known as the pie golem.
It is said that the Mad Baker created other dessert-based monstrosities, once he realized his success with pecans. There are rumours of the existence of the Mousse Swarm, and the highly explosive Boston Cream Giant.
Dan’s Thoughts: Look at that stat block, that Pie Golem is not joking around, that is a seriously warped confectionary. And look! Backstory! I LOVE BACKSTORY! There’s a Mad Baker, mousse-y swarms, and cream filed IEDs. This is the kind of delicious atrocity that a party of PCs can really sink their teeth into.
RANK: 3rd place
Submitted by: Anthony Rauseo
Professor Paddington’s Perfectly Preserved Pecan Pie! (Patent Pending).
Prof. Paddington’s pies appear and taste like any other pie save for a small smokey after taste. The secret of the preservation process that keeps the pies fresh no mater were they are transported is the Ghostrock used during the baking process.
Anyone who eats even a portion of the pie must make a Spirit roll to avoid addiction to the confection. Each time the check is failed the victim feels compelled to seek out another pie. The difficulty increases with each check by a factor of two. (-2 for the second pie, -4 for the third, etc).
The pies themselves can be found throughout the weird west in general stores and at trading posts and retail for around five dollars.
Dan’s Thoughts: A little alliteration alleviates life’s ails. Also: Deadlands. I love Deadlands. If you haven’t played it, you don’t know what you’re missing. This was our randomly chosen winner, by the way.
RANK: 2nd place
Submitted by: Paul
Original Entry: Click here to see Paul’s entry.
Dan’s Thoughts: The only entry to link to an Obsidian Portal campaign, it was nice to see that his work made it into his game world.
RANK: 1st place
Submitted by: Daniel Oquendo
Original Entry: Download the pdf
Dan’s Thoughts: Pages of stats, notes, and a system still under playtest. What more could you possibly ask for?
So there you have it people, let’s hear it one more time for the 10 fantastic entries to our last pie contest! Yay them!